Introduction
At the age of 26, discovering that I have both autism and ADHD was a revelation that brought both clarity and complexity to my life. For years, I had struggled with aspects of my daily existence, feeling out of sync with the world around me. This discovery (I’m going through the diagnosis process) has profoundly impacted my self-understanding, my relationships, and my approach to life. I certainly don’t have all the answers, and there are still many parts of my life that I’m re-navigating.
In this article, I explore the journey of adjusting to this new self-awareness and the strategies I’ve adopted to thrive in the hope that other people with late diagnosis’ can relate.
The Impact of Diagnosis
Learning that I am neurodivergent was like finding the missing piece of a puzzle. Suddenly, many of my lifelong challenges made sense. The sensory sensitivities, the intense focus on certain interests, the social misunderstandings, and the relentless mental hyperactivity were no longer isolated quirks but interconnected aspects of my neurology.
Self-Awareness and Acceptance
Understanding that my brain functions differently was the first step towards self-acceptance. Realising that autism and ADHD are not deficits but differences helped reframe my self-perception. Instead of viewing my traits as flaws, I have begun to appreciate them as integral parts of my identity. This shift in mindset was empowering, allowing me to embrace my uniqueness rather than striving to conform to neurotypical expectations. Admittedly, I’m still struggling with unlearning 26 years’ worth of social rules and norms.
Navigating Social Relationships
Social interactions have always been challenging for me. With autism, subtle social cues and unspoken rules often eluded me, leading to misunderstandings and feelings of isolation. ADHD compounded this with impulsivity and difficulty in maintaining attention during conversations. I’ve started to become more forgiving of my social missteps, recognising that they stem from neurological differences rather than personal failings. I’ve also started to communicate more openly about my neurodivergence with friends and family. This transparency has fostered greater understanding and patience from those around me.
Career and Productivity
Professionally, balancing autism and ADHD presents unique challenges. The structured, detail-oriented thinking associated with autism can be at odds with the distractibility and impulsivity of ADHD. However, understanding these traits has allowed me to develop strategies to leverage my strengths and mitigate my weaknesses.
Creating a work environment that accommodates my sensory needs has been crucial. Headphones, flexible scheduling, and a decluttered workspace help maintain focus (even if I don’t always achieve this!). Utilising tools like planners, reminders, and time-blocking techniques has improved my productivity. Embracing my intense focus on special interests, I’ve sought roles that align with these passions, turning what was once seen as an obsession into a professional asset.
Mental Health and Wellbeing
The discovery initially brought a mix of relief and anxiety. While it explained much of my life’s difficulties, it also raised questions about my future. Having always struggled with anxiety, I am now finally understanding how I might best mitigate against this and, in some cases, accept the anxiety when it is present.
I have also had difficulties with cyclical burnout. At least once a month, I will get extremely anxious and tired and need to stay in a dark room for a few days before it passes. Before I realised about my neurodivergence, I thought I was having a time of the month, which, for a cis-gendered male, was rather confusing. But now I have some answers and have begun to put strategies in place to deal with this, such as energy accounting.
Community and Advocacy
Connecting with the neurodivergent community has been invaluable. Online forums, local support groups, and organisations like Bristol Autism Support offer a sense of belonging and shared experience. Through these networks, I’ve found friends and role models who inspire me to advocate for myself and others.
I’ve started to share my story publicly amongst friends, family and acquaintances through speaking on a mental health podcast I run and in daily conversations. This advocacy not only helps others but also reinforces my self-acceptance and pride in my neurodivergent identity, and I hope to do more.
Conclusion
Discovering my autism and ADHD at 26 was a pivotal moment that reshaped my life. While the journey of adjustment is ongoing, embracing my neurodivergent identity has brought a deeper sense of self-understanding and acceptance. By developing tailored strategies, seeking support, and advocating for neurodiversity, I’m learning to navigate life with resilience and optimism. This journey is not without its challenges, but it is one of growth, empowerment, and an unwavering commitment to living authentically.
If you have an autistic loved one of any age and are struggling, you can book onto our free information sessions on the Autism Central Website here. Or use this link to arrange a free 1-2-1 support call with us.
